Friday, 14 June 2013

Absence of nice.

I'm in the station waiting.
And I was wondering, what's the worst comment you can give to anything.

'Not nice' hits me the most I don't know why.

It's worse than shit. Worse than bad. It's worse than fucked up, awful, terrible, crap, sick and twisted, horrible and even wrong and it's even worse than worst.

I'd rather something that was any of the above happen to me than it be not nice.

I even feel sorry for myself if something 'not nice' happens to me. And I get actual fierce self-loathing when I do something not nice. Despair all round. Whereas if I'd plain and simple fucked you over, or vice versa, it wouldn't mean anything to me at all if you know what I mean. The difference is massive. Clearly.


Well I just write a blog whenever I've no-one to talk to, lets be honest.

At least I can agree with myself.
I take it all back.

But like 'Shameful' must be worse
and 'heartbreaking' has to be,
and I know there are more.
Like describing a rapist is indescribable.
 And all the bad dans le monde.

but there's something sort of sad about not nice
in a different way.
Maybe because its less obvious,
 the certain things people including me do.

Like not saying goodbye when you should is not nice.
Not letting people know your gratitude is not nice.
Letting someone down who you didn't even owe anything to.
And belittling someone's beliefs, even though you don't agree, is not nice.
Leaving someone on their own, especially when you know the feeling. Taking someones self-esteem down. Going too far in an argument.
Blowing off a good mate.

(are you reading this danny?)

 and all that.

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